My questions lead me here in life, what are yours?

I was very young when I wrote an essay on “Dowry, an evil” and my mother asked me in fun, won’t you take dowry in your own marriage? In response I asked a question

“Why is it mandatory for a boy to get dowry and a girl to give it in a marriage?” I did not get the answer but I feel my question was correct. And, this question remained with me till now, my marriage happened without any expectation of dowry and ultimately without dowry. But, what an impact this question made that it helped driving my life and I am proud to say it brought a lot of respect for women since my childhood days.

Such is the power of right questions that if they asked with right intention they have the capability to lead your life, even if you do not get an answer (like in my case earlier). It is not that since asking that question to my mother I became an intellect and started asking right questions only. No, not at all, because it’s when I started to retrospect recently I understood what guiding force those questions were to me.

When I faced the toughest challenge of my life which ultimately transformed me to who I am today, I started with all wrong questions like “Why me?”, “How it can happen to me?”, “What wrong did I do” etc. etc. and I still feel that was pretty human because whenever challenges comes in our lives we rarely see a brighter side of it initially. In my recent talk @Ideas & Inspiration, Singapore I spoke about this part of my story. However, when I started posing myself the right questions I saw a different meaning of those challenges.

In all honesty, no one taught me but when I understood this concept and upon raising right questions to life, answers were not only directional but in fact transformational. When my questions changed to “What best can happen to me in this situation?”, “what am I learning?”, “How my journey can inspire other people?” universe sent me answers through one medium or another and with those answers I was guided to a new world. This was the time when I started understanding the value of right questions and I started practicing to ask the right questions.

Today, I feel so inspired by power of questions that if I give a simple example when I see a car which I love and know that it’s highly expensive I never ask a question “Can I ever afford this car?” I rather ask “what should I do to get this car?”. What it does, it puts me in action and my mind start looking for options & plan and ultimately I come in a state of mind where I feel capable to have that car instead of feeling sad that I can never afford it.

When I conquered my medical battle there were relatives who continuously poked me asking “Who will marry you in this state” and this time I did not change the question in fact I just changed the emotion in the question and kept the question as same because I understood it was still powerful question. I just brought a lot of self-belief in the question “Who will marry me in this state, if I will share all truth to every girl I meet” and believe me there were number of girls who came & showed their acceptance. Subsequently, I am married to one of the best partner I could have ever got. Your questions are also capable to bring a self-belief and a dream to you, such is the power of question. Questions not only can bend life but they can mend life as well. In a relationship a question like “what you can do for me?” if replaced by a question like “What can I do for you?” will bring a new meaning to the relationship and will bring the value of unconditional love. Relationship always works on “You” and “I” is a very small word in comparison to “You”.

Since I understood the power of right questions I started implementing it in my professional life as well. So, instead of asking a question like “why am I not getting promoted or not getting pay hike” I asked myself “what should I do to get promoted or get a hike” and answers might be different as if “leaning a new skill”, “planning for it upfront” or “even changing a job (which I recently did)” but this gave me more focus and I felt more empowered & in control.

If you notice Question starts with a word Quest which means “a pursuit in order to obtain something” so if you will ask a question keeping your quest alive you will always tend to get rights answers. The answers which will not only drive your life but in fact will drive you through your life fulfilling your desires. Questions are the foundation stones of your life, ask it right making them a quest. And, believe me the way they constructed my life they can give a direction to your life too !!

If you have any QUESTions for me please post it in comments and I will be happy to respond back.

God bless.